Pole Dancing for Jesus and other ways to Make Church Services More Interesting
67Pole Dancing for the Lord
Bring Pets to Church (even if they don't go to heaven)
Pole Dancing for Jesus
Toddlers can entertain bored church goers
Churches today face dwindling attendence - time to modernize!
Let's face it. Going to church is boring. You have sit in hard uncomfortable seats listening to a holier-than-thou know-it-all-tell you why you are wrong for hours. After 911 when so many people saw the harm that religious zeolotry can do to the world and how God did nothing to stop it, church attendance has been dropping off. Church leaders need to fill seats to continue their quest to leave the strip mall and build their dream mega-church or face the humiliation of being laughed at at upcoming Church Leader Conference and Trade Seminar in Las Vegas.
So how can you slam some more butts into pews and fill your church? Try some of these innovative ideas and watch the corresponding videos for more tips:
- Pets might not go to heaven but they can bring their owners to church
- Pole Dancing of Jesus classes
- More toddlers
- More marketing
- Mix things up by inviting random drunk people to sing Amazing Grace
- Learn from the NHL and WWF - have fights!
- Have fun with your church sign
- Record your services and put the best bloopers on Youtube for free advertising
And of course the best way to get more seats filled is by getting a lot of attention and free press like either be outrageously offensive like the Westboro Baptish Church (AIDs is God's Love) , start burning Quran's or predict the end of the world.
Learn Marketing from Starbucks
Invite random drunks up to the mic
Have fights like they do at hockey games
Funny Church Signs
Church Bloopers
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I wrote about the Pole Dancing doll in my worse girl toys article. Maybe they can use it in Sunday School
Have you read The Wittenburg Door?
http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/ Looks like its closed down. Too bad considering all of the non-satirical Christian sites out their still going.
JamaGenee Level 8 Commenter 12 months ago
Am ROTFLMAO *except* for the part about the WBC. Having lived in Topeka KS for over two decades and being subjected to their filthy signs on a near-daily basis, I can assure you they are NOT trying to put more butts in their pews, only garner media attention. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of non-Phelps family members who've EVER been inside the WBC "church" building. Topekans as a whole try to avoid Fred & Family by any means possible. Their ONLY redeeming social value has been to make Topeka one of the most gay-tolerant cities outside of San Francisco.